Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize