I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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