I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
