my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
