i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
