I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
