my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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