Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
