no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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