oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
