Its about making memories worth repressing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
