I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
