she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
