Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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