I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize