She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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