I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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