:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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