garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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