gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i only shaved half my leg
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.