Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
where are my pants?
in the oven.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
