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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

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• (650): View more from California

  We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it

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• (352): View more from Florida

  He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.

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• (805): View more from California

  It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?

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