She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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