.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
