I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
