just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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