Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
