I feel like abortions should bother me more
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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