Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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