so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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