she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
