She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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