I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
being pregnant is like rehab
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
