We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He has the fingertips of a God
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