Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
