She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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