im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
