What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
