I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
