If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
