I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
