Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
