we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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