I want to make a zoo with you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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