Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
