I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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