i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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