Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
