I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
