I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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