idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
