I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
