you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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