lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
