Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
