I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
