I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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