Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
