so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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