It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
