Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
