I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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