Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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