who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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