I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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