If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
