Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
