I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
