Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
