Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
