I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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