it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
