What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
