No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize