So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
