I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
