Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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