He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
